I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
