what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
