I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dual....:-)
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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