I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
