Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
