Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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