She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
