You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
