What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
