I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
