god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
