To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
