i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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