so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
not ubering you a puppy
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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