im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
