It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
