the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
