so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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