Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
