hotel room ftw
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
