I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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