the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
