Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just had sex bonerless
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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