I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
