forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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