She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
