How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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