it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
