M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
