the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
