Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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