I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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