Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
