her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
