I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
