5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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