11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
