i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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