Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
