Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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