so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
