Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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