I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We talked him into tasing himself.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
