I think I just saw someone hide a body.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
