HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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