This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
