question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
