Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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