Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
