You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
