This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
