bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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