11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
