i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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