3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
