kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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