Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
