her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
